Question by Brittany: Can anyone review my personal statement for a writing class?
I wrote it to the John Hopkins School of Public Health. There may be a few parts that need to be rearranged.
Notes for anyone reviewing:
?Shouldn?t have too many facts because can?t have bibliography (don?t know this just assuming)
?750 words min.
Every Thursday while growing up my family would gather for spaghetti dinner at my grandfather?s home. Before arriving, I double checked that the craft supplies, activities, and fun lessons I had assembled for my younger cousins were in my possession. Excitement pulsed through my veins as I engaged them in the lessons I felt may be enjoyable and expand their knowledge. An overhead projector I had received for my eleventh birthday aided me in these endeavors. Through these weekly family dinners my love for teaching began.
In middle school, a close family friend fell victim to and later perished from a preventable disease. The wheels in my mind began to spin, how could this have occurred and what measures may have been taken to avert this terminal outcome? The answer led me to my roots in acquiring and sharing knowledge with others. I aspired to encourage the public to seek screenings, education, and safe health practices available to prevent disease. I hoped that with this information they may not share her fate. Health intervention is a great initiative, however primary health prevention is the key to a population of people in the forefront of well-being.
Continuing my education brought me to high school. Here I was on the committee to raise awareness for the upcoming American Cancer Society Relay for Life my school was hosting. Flyers were created to post on local business buildings in my town. They promoted my neighbors to attend and contribute to this cause. Along with do?s and don?ts attributed to an array of cancer prevention. During this time I began my first job. Although it was a server position at a local restaurant the experience instilled in me a better grasp on the art of communication and some insights into nutrition. Communicating with a variety of people and backgrounds aided my friendly and outgoing nature. This quality, I feel, will be substantial in my future activities to communicate with the public.
In college, after declaring my major in Public and Community Health I went on to volunteer for the Special Summer Olympics. I informed the athletes of personal every day choices that may lead to their attainment of a healthier lifestyle. A recommendation included ingesting the proper amount of water while limiting soda intake daily. The information was accompanied by an accurate calculation of their Body Mass Index, BMI, and its significance to their health.
Throughout my college career as a Public and Community Health major I have been educated on the main issues regarding the health of populations. One of the largest concerns stems from communities with lower socioeconomic statuses and a correlation to obesity. After education of healthier habits is administered the action to follow through is imminent. The community may have a better understanding that it is detrimental to their health to eat at fast food restaurants like McDonald?s on a regular basis. However, budget?s and accessibility for healthier food choices will mostly determine their lifestyle.
A plan is needed here. A plan to bring farmer?s markets with fresh fruit and vegetables to these communities. A plan to provide transportation to these healthier choices and screenings such as mammograms. There is also a movement in some cities that are suffering from lower population densities and egress of the middle class to develop in-city farms and co-ops. Vacant buildings are being bulldozed, small gardens and community farms are being developed. This not only provides fresh fruits and vegetables to the population but brings them up close to real farming. An appreciation of real and natural foods is critical to the choices they will make. Considering that many health related diseases are directly or indirectly tied to the American diet it is plain to see where the future must lie. In the richest most abundant country on earth we are starving for nutrition. My goal is to be a part of the changes that must come. To teach, inform, and implement positive changes in the lives of the communities I come in contact with.
The John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health encompasses all of the qualities and values I am seeking in a graduate school. Acquiring a degree in Masters of Public Health, MPH, from this institution would be a perfect fit for me. With a device more up-to-date than my dusty and old overhead projector, I will strive to bring innovative yet practical health awareness to the public.
Best answer:
Answer by jen Garringer
amazing
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Source: http://treatmentobesity.net/qa-can-anyone-review-my-personal-statement-for-a-writing-class/
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